I recently came across a parenting article and I love it for so many reasons. It’s The Rise of Accidentally Permissive Parents by Elizabeth Passarella in The Cut. I think it speaks to so many issues parents are having… resulting in a difficult reality of not feeling like you’re parenting well. What a hard place to be! I highly recommend the read.

If you have a strong enough “why” you can endure any “how.” This is a paraphrased idea courtesy of Friedrich Nietzche that I find to be very true in life. But man! Constructing a “why” strong enough to do something difficult can be pretty tough in our adult lives (for example, I procrastinated on writing this blog post), let alone our children’s lives.

As play therapists, we often tell our caregivers to spend one-on-one time with their child for at least 30 minutes doing an activity of their child’s choosing or something they can enjoy together each week. We also know that finding that activity or free play can be a challenge for many caregivers. Have you ever wondered what toys and games we have in our rooms and why we use them? Keep on reading to understand more of the reason behind why we have chosen each specific toy in the play room and which ones might be worthwhile in adding to your collection at home!

There have been many tragic events that have impacted our world and local Austin community as of late. As I write this, our community has just experienced the loss of several individuals through gun violence. Some days are just hard and our hearts feel exceptionally heavy. More and more I have caregivers ask if they should be discussing tough topics in the news with their child -- and if so, how?

During the holiday season, we often find that children have more difficulty with emotional regulation. Excitement is abundant and routine falls to the wayside: two things that shrink the level of tolerance children have for dysregulating stimuli.

I feel like it’s safe to say every single person who reads this blog has experienced a sleepless night and can remember the side effects they suffered the next day: lethargy, low motivation, trouble concentrating, desperate for a cup of coffee or tea, and maybe even being just outright cranky. (For me, the coffee mug seems permanently glued to my hand in an effort to recover.)

Friendships.  Acceptance.  Connection.  These are all things we want for our children. As adults, we have felt the joys and tribulations of friendships and want to help children navigate those tricky waters.  It's painful when we see our children excluded from a group or struggle to connect with other children.  It can be extra challenging to unpack exactly why difficulties are happening and how to support our children to have successful social interactions.

Friendships.  Acceptance.  Connection.  These are all things we want for our children. As adults, we have felt the joys and tribulations of friendships and want to help children navigate those tricky waters.  It's painful when we see our children excluded from a group or struggle to connect with other children.  It can be extra challenging to unpack exactly why difficulties are happening and how to support our children to have successful social interactions.

Suicide is a topic that is difficult for anyone to talk about. Throw in the mix of talking about suicide with your children and that conversation goes from uncomfortable to sometimes unbearable. It can be frightening to bring up such a heavy topic to our children and can bring up worries that we are “putting ideas in their heads” by doing so.

Divorce and separation is undoubtedly a challenging experience for everyone involved, especially for children. Amid the emotional rollercoaster, finding a way to co-parent effectively can seem like an overwhelming task - especially when we know that a child’s adjustment during this time depends largely on how well caregivers handle this uncomfortable experience. However, with dedication, communication, and a shared commitment to the well-being of your children, successful co-parenting is not only possible but can be incredibly rewarding.

Searching for a therapist and beginning the process of therapy is understandably overwhelming. You’re worried about how your child is doing and in the process of finding a therapist that will be a good fit for them, you might be wondering if you’ve checked all the boxes and asked all the right questions. In this blog, I want to provide some insight into what the first steps of your therapy journey at Ensemble will look like to help relieve any anxiety you’re feeling about the process.

During your formative years, you may or may not have been exposed to the developmental work of Erik Erikson. He was a developmental psychologist in the early 20th century who organized human development into eight stages with specific developmental tasks from birth to death. The idea of human and child development can be tricky because development is never a clear or linear path. Each child is unique and worthy and is growing at their own pace. Healthy development cannot be rushed but it can certainly be slowed. Children develop best in an environment of physical and emotional safety. We can embrace our children as humans who strive to be fulfilled, contributory, and in relationship with others. And they will struggle with this, will need guidance, and may look like they aren’t striving for these things but I promise, they are. In their own way. They will, by virtue of being human, encounter obstacles, challenges, and emotional struggles, but they are always developing and evolving. Even if it’s not on our schedule.

In our last two blogs, we’ve been discussing how to talk to your child about refugees and how you can begin exploring more through conversations and learning in your home. While discussing topics such as that of immigration are important in creating good, global citizens and increasing empathy, they are especially important and relevant to our community. For many caregivers, it may be easy to assume that their children have not been exposed to immigration or refugees. However, the reality is that as of 2019, Austin has approximately 12,000 refugees, and therefore, it’s likely that many children have classmates who are refugees or immigrants and/or have a loved one close to them who is. 

As a parent, my hope is to raise caring, strong, and compassionate children that become good global citizens. And yet as an adult, I’m aware that many subjects, such as that of refugees, can be a complicated topic in today’s world. Not only does it often bring political debate, but also the complexity of understanding the various terms when people speak about refugees.

At Ensemble Therapy, we understand the importance of healing and we want to foster growth throughout our community, so we prioritize partnering with local organizations and volunteering in our community. We recognize that currently, the system our community has for supporting refugees is in need of volunteers, resources, and assistance. We know that as we practice acceptance and inclusion and honor diverse identities the healing benefits ripple through the community at large, so we want to share with our closest community (you!) why you should explore immigration with your children and how to do so.

Does this happen in your house? When the caregiver who works more outside of the home – the one who doesn’t typically pick up from school, the one who still goes to work even when the kids are sick – comes home from work and the kids run to them, play with them, seem to have really sweet connected time with them? But then you’re the one enforcing all the tough transitions. Time to finish playing and eat, or do homework, or get in the bath, or whatever less preferred activity is necessary. 

Now you’ve learned the ACT method of limit setting (Landreth, 2012) and you may find yourself asking - what do I do if my child won’t make a choice? That’s called advanced limit setting. Let’s get into it! 

The way self-care is portrayed in the media today is a double-edged sword; I am glad that the idea is widespread, but I’m afraid the way self-care is presented to folks these days is lacking substance. We hear things like “love yourself” but honestly, that’s pretty vague! What does that actually mean, and how do we go about doing that?