Toys and Games with a Purpose
As play therapists, we often tell our caregivers to spend one-on-one time with their child for at least 30 minutes doing an activity of their child’s choosing or something they can enjoy together each week. We also know that finding that activity or free play can be a challenge for many caregivers. Have you ever wondered what toys and games we have in our rooms and why we use them? Keep on reading to understand more of the reason behind why we have chosen each specific toy in the play room and which ones might be worthwhile in adding to your collection at home!
At Ensemble Therapy, our toys are carefully selected, not simply collected in our rooms. We choose the toys and games in our room because we want them to serve a purpose and to help build a relationship with our clients. We want our clients to explore who they are and express themselves and their feelings in lots of different ways. We also want to make sure that our games, books, and toys are culturally inclusive to allow children to be seen in our play rooms and in our practice.
Typically toys have about five general areas of purpose:
Family/nurturing
Scary
Aggressive
Fantasy/pretend
Expressive
Some examples of family/nurturing toys include a dollhouse, baby dolls, a kitchen, food, cleaning supplies, and stuffed animals. These toys allow children to play and test out different family roles. Children of all genders can see what it is like to cook, clean, and take care of a baby through feeding and clothing it.
Scary toys such as spiders, snakes, and rats allow children to face their fears and anxieties. Every time a child comes into the room and sees a toy that they are afraid of, it gives them the opportunity little by little to have more control over what they are feeling.
I know that some caregivers aren’t okay with having aggressive weapons in their home. They choose to not have toy knives, or toy guns and that’s okay. As therapists, it is our job to allow our clients to openly express all their feelings, aggression and anger included. Aggression toys such as bop bags, handcuffs, knives, and guns are included in our rooms because it allows children a chance to express their anger and issues with power and control in a safe environment. Oftentimes, children come to therapy for aggression or behavioral issues. These tools allow children to enact their internal world and through limiting settings and a therapeutic relationship, children begin to develop positive ways to express their anger. A child who is labeled as a bad kid can come into therapy and see what it is like to play as a good character putting away someone who is bad.
This leads me to the next area of fantasy/pretend. Some of these toys include animal puppet, dress-up clothing, hats, jewelry, and doctor kits. These items allow children to explore their world in other ways. A child can play as a doctor or construction worker allowing them to see what it would be like to try out that occupation. Puppets can be used to tell stories allowing children to tell their story but through a non-directive approach allowing a barrier between themselves and what they are wanting to express. Toys can be used in a lot of different ways and hold different meanings. Children can use a gun in an aggressive way or it can be used in fantasy to help protect them against a scary monster. A dollhouse can be used to play out positive family encounters, or it can be used to show how the child is feeling inside through the child messing up every room in the dollhouse.
The last general category for toys is expressive. Typically these include paint, crayons, markers, glue, scissors, tape, pipe cleaners, stickers, beads and string, and construction paper. These materials allow children to be creative and express themselves through different mediums.
The toys in our rooms aren’t the only ones with a purpose either. Board games can also have purpose to them and playing board games at home can have a purpose as well. Through different board games, children can learn to strategize, recognize different emotions, build their impulse control as well as their frustration tolerance and even learn to play in a cooperative manner. Games like chess, checkers, Battleship, and Stratego allow your child to plan and think through their moves in the game. Games like Jenga, Operation, Perfection, and Stop Relax and Think allow your child to build up their impulse control. Thinking about the game Operation, every time your child hits the buzzer they have to hand over the tool to the next person. This game is designed to help your child slow down and control their movements.
Of course, as the child continues to knock down the Jenga tower, or hit the buzzer in Operation their frustration tolerance might start to deplete. It’s important to recognize this and allow some time for breaks but it’s also a great chance to practice reflecting your child’s feelings.
Some games that are helpful in building frustration tolerance are Candy Land, Sorry, and Chutes and Ladders. While these games are different, they all have something in common. If your child is close to the top or near the safe zone, they might pull a card that slides them back to the beginning or someone else may pull the Sorry card and send them back to start. This allows your child to also learn to take responsibility and a great way for you both to practice ways to cope when things don’t go as planned.
If you're looking for ways to help your child build empathy and cooperation there are games for that too. Games like Stone Soup, Max: A cooperative game, and Outfoxed: Cooperative whodunnit game, are games where everyone who plays, works together. In these games, children and their caregivers work together against a common goal rather than working against each other. The goal is to focus on deductive reasoning, social skills, and cooperation.
Games like The Ungame, Totika-Mindfulness, My Feelings: Exploring emotions through fun active play, and The Coping Skills Game, focus on bringing awareness to emotions, mindfulness, and coping skills. These games are helpful for building communication and relationships as they can be non-competitive.
At home and in our therapy rooms, games, and toys can have many different purposes. The main purpose over everything else is connection. Find ways to connect with your child over shared interest, playing together with their toys, or playing board games together. Find moments to build or repair your attachments through quality time and utilizing your parenting tips like reflecting their feelings during these moments. Breathe together, play together, connect.
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WRITTEN BY ASHLEY HEMBROCK, LPC-ASSOCIATE, NCC (SHE/HER/HERS)
Ashley is a License Professional Counselor Associate (LPC-A), under clinical supervision of Sheila Wessels, MEd, LPC-S, RPT-S and Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC). Ashley received her Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of North Texas (CACREP Accredited Program) specializing in children and adolescents and her Bachelor’s in Psychology from Lindenwood University. Ashley is currently working towards her Registered Play Therapist (RPT) credential. She has experience working with children, preteens, teens, and young adults in a variety of settings including a domestic violence and sexual assault agency and schools. Her work includes providing individual, family, and group therapy services to clients with diverse needs.
