Sleep: How to Support Your Child with Getting Quality Rest
I feel like it’s safe to say every single person who reads this blog has experienced a sleepless night and can remember the side effects they suffered the next day: lethargy, low motivation, trouble concentrating, desperate for a cup of coffee or tea, and maybe even being just outright cranky. (For me, the coffee mug seems permanently glued to my hand in an effort to recover.)
While the next day can be on the rougher side for adults, we can typically bounce back relatively quickly! For children, however, sleep is a biological necessity that supports their physical, cognitive, and social-emotional development and is critical to their overall growth and wellness.
Why is Sleep So Important for My Child?
One of the biggest benefits of good sleep is better brain functioning. Children will have an easier time concentrating, accessing their creative side and use of flexible thinking, are better able to engage in problem-solving, manage their emotions, tap into their coping strategies, and are set up to retain information which increases their ability to learn.
According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms of sleep deprivation in children may include:
Absenteeism from school
Being accident prone
Challenges with impulse control
Decrease in attention span, mental alertness, and ability to learn and reason
Decreased motivation
Defiance or noncompliance
Depression or anxiety
Difficulty falling asleep
Difficulty in waking
Hyperactivity and silliness or giddiness
Impairment in decision-making, problem-solving, and judgment
Increase in appetite and sugar cravings
Overemotional
Poor concentration
Poor school performance
Signs of cognitive and memory impairment and forgetting daily tasks
Tantrums, irritability, or aggressive behavior
Exactly how much sleep should my child be getting?
There’s a common misconception that 8-9 hours of sleep per night is a “one size fits all” recommendation, but the amount of sleep your child needs each night depends on which age group they are in. Here is the recommended amount of sleep within a 24-hour period, according to The American Academy of Sleep Medicine.
What can we do as caregivers to support our child with getting enough sleep?
Sleep Hygiene
According to The Sleep Foundation, sleep hygiene refers to the sleep environment as well as daily routines and behaviors, and is one of the simplest ways that you can set your child up for better sleep. Every child’s sleep environment should be unique to their preferences, and may take some trial and error to find the right fit. Here are some things you can experiment with!
SLEEP SCHEDULES:
Have a set waking time: Aim to wake up at the same time each morning, even if it’s the weekend. This will help your child’s body fall into a consistent rhythm of waking up on time when they really need it during the school week.
Ease into changes: If your child’s sleep schedule needs to shift to sometime earlier or later, aim to make this change gradually over time rather than just diving into a new schedule all of a sudden. This will help your child with adapting to the adjustment and feel less jarring.
Minimize naps: Does a quick 30-minute nap sometimes help with recharging batteries? Absolutely! It’s when longer naps become a routine that the sleep schedule can be disrupted. Encourage your child to listen to their body and nap if it’s really needed, but try to keep them closer to 15 minutes and happening no later than the early afternoon. (Right after school is a great time for a quick snooze!)
NIGHTLY ROUTINES:
Use a consistent nighttime routine: Encourage your child to do the same nighttime tasks (ex: bathing, putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, etc.) in the same order each night when preparing for bed. You can even consider using a visual schedule to help build a sense of autonomy with the process and support executive functioning skills!
Budget for 30-60 minutes of tech-free downtime: Blue light emitted from electronics decreases melatonin production and actually sends the message to your child’s brain that says “Hey! We’re awake and have energy! Let’s do something!” Adult brains are not immune to this problem; caregivers, I encourage you to explore your whole family having “tech-free time”, and maybe even a home base where all of the devices go at the end of the night! (This one can be hard, but I believe in you!) This downtime creates a great opportunity for connecting activities like cuddling up and reading a book, talking about things you’re grateful for from the day, or listening to some soft music together. For additional tips, check out our blog on Limiting Screen Time!
Associate the bed with sleeping only: You may have heard of the work of Russian Scientist, Ivan Pavlov and “Pavlov’s Dog.” His research taught us that you can link together two things in your brain so that when you experience one thing (like the sound of a bell being rung) you can expect another thing to happen or feel a certain way (a dog salivates and expects to be fed soon). The more you remove non-sleep activities from happening in bed like reading, texting with friends, or FaceTiming, and have it only associated with sleeping, the more likely your child’s brain is going to say, “Oh, we’re in bed now and the bed is only for sleeping. It’s time to go to sleep!”
Create a cozy sleep environment unique to your child: Setting up the room to support restful sleep can be a fun and connecting project for caregivers to do with their kids! Some items you can explore and pick out together may include soft lamps to turn on at the end of the day (dimming the lights also increases melatonin production), diffusers and essential oils (research by The Sleep Foundation shows lavender, bergamot, chamomile, and cedarwood reduce anxiety and improve sleep quality), a pillow covered with a caregiver’s t-shirt (complete with their unique and familiar scent) and noise machines that can play white noise or even specific soundscapes like thunderstorms or the ocean waves.
DAYTIME HABITS:
That’s right, your child can even do things during the day to support getting good sleep.
Move your body: Getting regular exercise does not only benefit physical wellness and mental health, it also makes it easier to fall and stay asleep during the night!
Spend time in the sunshine: Sunlight is a key component in supporting your child’s circadian rhythm – their body’s internal clock. Sunlight exposure releases hormones that tell the body “It’s daytime, let’s be awake and active!” When the sun goes down and light exposure reduces, their body will release melatonin which tells them it’s time for rest. For those of you who live in places where the weather is notoriously dark and gloomy (like say Seattle), consider trying artificial lighting like light therapy lamps, full-spectrum lighting, or LED lights.
What if we tried all of these things and my child still is struggling to get enough sleep?
It’s likely going to take some trial and error to find the right combination of strategies that works best for your child. Keeping this as an open and ongoing conversation with your child will help them feel a sense of control of their sleep habits, and learn more about themselves and their body’s needs.
It’s important to also know that good sleep hygiene does not always improve sleep issues. Sleep disorders such as insomnia or parasomnias (night terrors, sleepwalking, sleep talking), impact around 20-30% of children. If your child is struggling with sleep disturbances or if there are any other concerns about sleep, it’s best to talk with your child’s pediatrician or consult with another healthcare professional like a pediatric sleep specialist.
I hope that these ideas offer you and your family a jumping off point for experimenting, and with some trial and error, eventually finding just the right fit that supports your child getting plenty of restful sleep!
References:
Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital
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WRITTEN BY JAMI LEWIS, LPC-ASSOCIATE , NCC (SHE/HER/HERS)
Jami Lewis is a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate (LPC-A) and a National Certified Counselor (NCC) supervised by Jaclyn N Sepp, MA, LPC-S, RPT-S™, NCC, RYT200. She received her Master’s Degree in Professional Counseling from Texas State University (CACREP Accredited Program) as well as a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. Jami is currently working towards her Registered Play Therapist™ (RPT™) credential.