“Human beings are not born with self-control. We have to learn what to do with the mad that we feel. Learning to control ourselves is a long, hard process. It happens little by little. In fact, it is something we work on all through our lives.” - Mr Rogers

Children do not enter this world with bad intentions. Children offer us information, and if we’re courageous enough to listen to the information, we can attune to their inner experiences. We can perceive their behavior as communication, not as manipulation. Children, like all human beings, feel more cooperative when they are treated with respect and kindness. As adults, we do not respond well to people who speak to us harshly or treat us with disrespect - but this can sometimes be our default reaction when faced with our children’s big feelings.

“Good Job!” is so entrenched in our brains as a parenting phrase. Many parents (myself included) use it all the time. I would go so far to say that the only parents who don’t say “good job” to their children are the ones deliberately trying to avoid saying it. As ridiculous as it may sound, this blog is going to tell you why you should do just that, and the types of phrases you can try replacing it with.

Just like cognitive, physical, and emotional development, sexual development starts when a child is born. While we encourage you to discuss sexual development with your child at every age, we know that the language used can become trickier as your little one becomes a teenager, so today I’ll be sharing some things to consider as you prepare for these conversations with your teen.

August means back-to-school season for many of us! Shopping for school supplies, new clothes, new shoes, and backpacks can all feel very exciting, and this season may also be filled with lots of complicated, challenging emotions. While parents may be excited for a return to more structure, routine, and possibly even the occasional peace and quiet, many kiddos (and maybe parents too) can experience a very different response.

The work we do as therapists is not about teaching our clients to avoid conflict but about learning how to negotiate interpersonal conflict with skill, care and awareness. When I sit down to work with a family, I often ask how they make repairs when they experience a conflict – or, more simply, how does your family say I’m sorry? The answers are as diverse and varied as the families themselves.

You may have come across the terms “attachment style” or “attachment theory” at some point in your child’s, or even your own, therapy journey. However, you may not have a thorough understanding about what attachment actually means. Attachment theory was first developed in the mid-1940s by psychologist and psychiatrist John Bowlby and was later expanded upon with research conducted by psychologist Mary Ainsworth. A simple definition of attachment is “an emotional bond with another person.” (Buescher, 2022) Simply put, “attachment style” refers to the different ways in which we connect and develop emotional bonds with other human beings. Since attachment can be a focal point of the therapeutic process, I want to dive into this topic a little deeper.

Summer is finally here and heating up! This can often mean summer day and sleep away camps. While for some kids and teens these activities can bring bounds of excitement, between catching up with friends from previous years, activities, and adventure, they can also bring up feelings of nervousness and anxiety. The idea of being away from the safety and predictability of home can cause homesickness and sleepless nights in some children. To help navigate these feelings, we have come up with some helpful tips and tricks to prepare your kid for a fun-filled summer!

I have been a member and a club sponsor for gender and sexuality alliances support groups for LGBTQIA+ folks for over 20 years, and every pride month people ask me the same question: “Why have pride month? What’s the point?” Simply put, pride is the opposite of shame. Pride month is our time to come together and say to each other that there is NO SHAME in being your authentic self. You are lovable and wonderful and you can be proud of your identity! The reality is that a lot of shame is placed on our LGBTQIA+ kids and families, (and there are a lot of serious statistics about their experiences) so that is why pride month continues to be necessary– we need to stand up against the shame, together.

If you are a parent staring down the barrel of the decision on whether or not to medicate your child for ADHD, it is very likely that you are feeling overwhelmed. I have found that many of the articles and studies we research do not include what families can really expect when they embark on that journey, or what they can expect if they don’t. Many studies and statistics that state medication treatment in addition to therapy for ADHD is very beneficial. I, too, am a believer in this idea, but that was not always the case, and of course every child, family, and situation is different; this is really important to keep in mind as you read this post. I want to share with you some information about ADHD and treatment thereof, as well as my personal journey of growing up while trying to figure out how to manage my diagnosis.

As humans, we have various forms of development: cognitive, physical, emotional, and sexual. While it seems like cognitive and physical development have been areas of focus for a long time, and our society has recently come around to putting more focus on emotional development and has begun to emphasize mental health, sexual development is still a taboo topic. This leaves caregivers with a lot of questions about if their child’s sexual development is normal. Without anything to compare one child’s behavior to, panic can ensue as caregivers ask themselves, “Should I be worried?”

Safety is always at the forefront of a caregiver’s mind. We openly discuss safety with children such as: don’t cross the road without looking both ways, don’t talk to strangers, wear a helmet when you ride your bike, don’t run with scissors, and on and on. Discussing consent and bodily autonomy with your children should be as discussed as reminding them to put on sunblock.

If you are depressed you are living in the past.

If you are anxious you are living in the future.

If you are at peace you are living in the present.

-Lao Tzu

The quote above is one of my absolute favorites. I often wish this quote had found its way to me sooner in my life because I think it (as any great quote does) gave me clarity on something that I had observed, but never synthesized into an actual idea. There are other quotes and references that address this same concept, but this is the only one that spells out to us that depression and anxiety are both remedied by your own actions; actions that can only be taken in the present.

Each of us comes with our own perceptions of what therapy is and what it looks like, and most adults experience the therapeutic process through talking and reflecting with a licensed therapist. Knowing this, it’s no wonder that play therapy can be riddled with misconceptions!

Choosing the “right” school for your child is a daunting task for parents. We want our children to feel safe, seen, and supported in their academic environments, but it becomes overwhelming when there are often too many options available and not any clear guidance on how to evaluate if each program will align with your child’s individual needs. This is where we come in to save the day! We hope to take a load off your shoulders by giving you a how-to guide on identifying your child’s needs (or preferences) while demystifying the educational lingo you’ll encounter when visiting a potential campus.

Do you want to know how to hack your brain to feel better? I’d love to tell you about one of my “brain hacks” and it has to do with my favorite cranial nerve, the vagus nerve!

Before I get ahead of myself in this blog, I’ll answer the title question: What is Executive Functioning? Executive Functioning (or, EF, as the cool kids call it) is the “supervisor” or “conductor” in your brain. It helps control behaviors, emotions, and thoughts in order to achieve goals.

For parents with children experiencing suicidal ideation, non-suicidal self-injury, or any other mental health crisis, it can often feel like your world has been turned upside down. Every child is different, so, therefore, every crisis will be different. My hope is this blog will provide some helpful feedback to help parents keep putting one foot in front of the other in the event their child experiences a mental health crisis.

In the hectic world we live in, we often find that we have to remind ourselves to take a breather, and finding time to do so can be challenging. From all of the regular challenges we’ve always taken on to the challenges the pandemic has brought us, it might feel like you’re constantly wanting to take a break, and your child might feel this way too. From “regular” challenges like working to improve academic performance or decrease anxiety to pandemic-related challenges, like school transitions, children can feel more overwhelmed than ever.

Helping others feels good. Even the smallest act of kindness creates a ripple effect. When we “pay it forward,” research states it spreads to at least three degrees of separation. This means we witness someone being kind or generous to others, it not only feels good inside to us but also inspires us to want to be generous towards others, a sensation researchers have coined as “moral elevation” and “emotional contagion.” It is the small acts done repeatedly that really make a big difference. Spreading kindness in your home and spending time volunteering in your community can be an invaluable experience for your family.

‘Tis the season to begin shopping for the kids on your holiday list. Every year I struggle with what to get and feel the pressure to get the hot new “it” item. However, I have found time and time again the “it” item is quickly forgotten for the box it came in or some wooden blocks that we’ve had for years. The reason for this sometimes frustrating phenomenon is that kids love to create, make choices, and explore! Open-ended toys are perfect for this.