At Ensemble Therapy, we care deeply about the “why” behind our practice of counseling. We believe there is not a “one-size-fits-all” approach to counseling; each therapist views the counseling process and their clients through a unique lens formed from years of education and experience. This means that as a client, you can choose the counselor who is the best fit for you or your child. While this freedom to choose the best-fit may sound nice at first, it can be difficult to know how to choose when there seem to be so many ways to do therapy. Not only are there lots of theories on how to practice counseling, often the language behind counseling theories is difficult to understand and apply without any previous background knowledge.

It can be daunting to find the right therapist. There is a lack of literature out there to educate parents on which therapeutic approaches may work best for their kids and their family. Until a more detailed resource is available, here is a quick primer on why we emphasize Play Therapy at Ensemble Therapy.

This morning it was clear my three boys (ages 4, 4, & 3) were in no mood to get ready for pre-school. They were playing mousy. In the short time they had been awake the mice had built a mouse hole with chairs and couch cushions and filled it with toys. A bag of baby carrots was perched on the roof. The mice were taking small round bites out of tortillas and peeking through them.

Each one of us is unique. We are not one-dimensional beings; rather, we are multifaceted. We each have different tendencies, likes, interests, dreams, and strengths. From our personalities and talents to our physical appearance and biological makeup, no one of us is exactly alike to another person. Looking at our children, we know this to be incredibly true. No child is the same as another, especially when it comes to what makes them feel whole and alive. This is as true for children as it is for adults as we constantly journey towards a sense of health, wholeness, and purpose.

As parents during a pandemic, we have been tasked with many new roles. We have been teachers, therapists, bakers, gardeners, tech support, and emotional regulators — and that was all before noon. This list doesn’t include what our “typical” role looked like before the pandemic all the while trying to make the safest decision for our kids that balances their social and emotional well-being. As we finally approach the end of the year, we may have begun establishing a rhythm, getting used to the “new normal” and finding things a little bit more familiar. And yet, the world around us continues to change, and we are constantly having to adapt along the way. Many of us are feeling exhausted, burnt out, and ready for a break. The skills and routines that were once more easily accessible for us have since been much harder to implement.

In so many ways, high school and the teenage years are the culmination of the work you have done as a parent. It is the finale, the moment in which you can take pride in all the late nights, the early mornings, the dinners eaten in the car on the way to practice, the fights, and the disagreements. It’s the moment you’ve waited for since your child first came to your home—your child no longer being seen as a child in the eyes of the world, but as an adult.

The COVID-19 Pandemic has changed our world in so many ways. It has brought tremendous lows but also some unexpected highs. Case in point, for my family, it has been what I like to call “excessive togetherness.” I don’t know about your family but never before have I experienced so much family time. We are together ALL THE TIME! This has put all of our relationships under a magnifying glass. One, in particular, has been the relationship my daughters have with each other. It has been delightful to observe how much they love each other and then, 15 seconds later, cringeworthy. Sound familiar?

Many of us began this year with very different plans and visions for ourselves than what has played out. We may have dreamt of travel, a new job, meeting new friends, or improving our health and well-being. Instead, we are met with isolation, confinement, limited opportunities, and constant concern for the health of ourselves and our loved ones.

Thanks for following through this series of talking to kids about race. If you’re just joining us, we encourage you to check out some of our earlier posts about how to talk with toddlers and elementary aged children about anti-racism, equity, and inclusion.

Today, we’re talking about adolescents. Though we’ve talked about the importance of raising anti-racist humans from birth, it’s never too late to start incorporating more diversity into your family’s home, media consumption, and conversations. As Maya Angelou once said, “You do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Adolescents are experiencing a “remodel” in their brains, doing away with old, useless information, and strengthening their beliefs and ideals that are most enforced, so now is a great time to start or continue this work (1). The young brain is truly magical… even though the sometimes sour moods and slammed doors are not!

This blog is the second in a series designed for parents to more easily approach the topic of race, bias, and racism with their children. Much of the language and resources in the Birth to Pre-K blog is also appropriate for Kinder and 1st graders and is generally foundational to this post. Please check it out!

One of the most impactful and beneficial things parents can do for their child is to spend regular and intentional one-on-one time with them. Spending one-on-one time with your child will:

• Increase closeness and warmth between you and your child

• Strengthen the parent-child relationship

• Give your child positive parental attention

• Make your child feel important to you

• Increase your child’s self-esteem

• Decrease negative attention-seeking behaviors

• Give your child space to talk to you about things that may be hard to talk about in other settings

• Allow you to tune in to their world

Life is full of consequences. In fact, some would argue that consequences (or the fear of them) drive our behavior. As parents, we deal with consequences in spades. Your toddler throws their cup on the ground (for the millionth time!), your teen refuses to get off their phone during dinner, your five-year-old hits their younger sibling when they are arguing. Then what? What’s your next move as a parent? Do you yell? Do you “come down hard” and be authoritarian? Do you let it slide and “lose the battle to win the war?”

Here you are, the parent of a preschooler or an even younger child. Maybe you are a first-time parent. Maybe you are a parenting pro. No matter, you are questioning how you’re going to begin a conversation, one that you know you should have and might not know how to start, or what is appropriate for the developmental level of your child. A conversation about race.