Farewell, Not Goodbye: When Therapy Comes to an End
"Are you breaking up with us?" This sentiment is one I've encountered numerous times as I broach the topic of termination with caregivers. While the remark may appear lighthearted, it undoubtedly speaks to the depth and significance of the therapeutic relationships we, as therapists, form not only with our clients but often with the entire family system.
Termination refers to the final phase of therapy; a time in which the therapist and client prepare to end the therapeutic relationship. It's a crucial aspect of the therapeutic process, aiming to provide closure, facilitate reflection on growth, and identify support systems for the future. Deciding when to end the therapeutic relationship is something that I, alongside our other therapists, approach with careful consideration and intentionality. While ideally, termination occurs when a client achieves their goals, there are several reasons it may become necessary, such as external factors like relocation, referral to a different modality or resource, or scheduling conflicts.
Regardless of the reason, the termination process is essential and provides vital closure.
Think about how many times we, as adults, ask our children to move in and out of the plans we have for the week without question and forget to provide them the same opportunities that many of us prefer — the knowledge of upcoming changes and transitions and time to prepare both mentally and physically for those demands. Whether it’s a trip to the store on the weekend or meeting up with the in-laws for lunch, children and adolescents are often expected to move forward without question.
Now that’s not to say these things aren’t a part of life or maybe even necessary, but what if we provided our children with the same courtesies we would like — acknowledging how they might feel, providing them reminders of transitions, and offering opportunity for closure?
This all rings true when ending therapy and highlights the importance of providing our children some control in a situation that may not feel in their control, which is why most therapists ask caregivers to allow for at least three sessions before ending the therapeutic relationship. These final sessions provide acknowledgment of the upcoming transition, an opportunity to process elicited feelings, and time to gain closure.
Through proper termination one can:
Repair past damages.
Think about some of the times that provided you the most pain in your life? Did those situations end well? Were you afforded the goodbye or closure you needed to move forward and find healing? Whatever it may have been, it's likely that the ending felt out of your control and things were left unsaid. It’s also likely that your child too has had some difficult or incomplete endings where they may not have found the closure they needed.
Sometimes when caregivers feel things are going well or time no longer works, etc. they may feel that sessions can just be stopped but in reality that only leaves the child experiencing another incomplete or challenging ending. Therefore having a scheduled and structured ending of therapy is so important.
Be empowered.
The final phase of therapy can be empowering as children reflect on their journey in the playroom and develop further confidence in all that they’ve accomplished. The child now has the foundation and skills to navigate the challenges of life and may feel more capable and in control of themselves. Termination can also be a way of validating the child and saying, “I see your hard work and trust that we can do this together.”
Find closure.
Finding closure is integral within the therapeutic relationship, which stands apart from others due to the profound bond it fosters. This secure connection often becomes a cornerstone in individuals' lives, offering a sanctuary where, for 45 minutes or an hour each week, they receive undivided attention and unconditional positive regard. It's a space free from expectations, yet filled with the anticipation and belief in their potential for growth and achievement.
Similar to other significant relationships, the opportunity to bid farewell or say 'see you later' can offer essential closure.
Endings are rarely easy and the termination phase of therapy is a pivotal moment that encapsulates the significance of closure, reflection, and empowerment. Just as we strive to provide our children with the tools and support to navigate life's transitions, termination offers an opportunity to acknowledge the journey, validate accomplishments, and foster a healthy relationship with therapy moving forward. By embracing closure as a transition rather than an end, individuals can recognize the value of therapy as a continuous source of support and growth in their lives.
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WRITTEN BY Dakota Becker, LPC, RPT™, NCC, IPT-CST
Dakota is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Registered Play Therapist™ (RPT™), National Certified Counselor (NCC) and Institute of Play Therapy Certified Sandtray Therapist (IPT-CST). She received her Master’s Degree in Counseling from the University of North Texas through their nationally known play therapy program as well as has her Bachelor’s Degree in Child Development.
