Bedtime Made Easier
If you’re a caregiver, you know we have all had those tricky nights where it seems like no matter what you do you can’t get your child to sleep!
Whether you have a toddler, child, or adolescent, having a practical and age-appropriate bedtime routine can be the make or break between a restful or restless night of sleep. While there are many books out there about how to get your child to sleep, the main point of most of these books is to create a calm, peaceful, bedtime routine for you and your child.
A good night’s sleep is one of the best things you can give your child. When children don’t get enough sleep they can become irritable or hyper and have trouble controlling their emotions. Children who are sleep-deprived can also have a difficult time staying focused and learning. Although it can be hard to stick to a routine, it is truly the best thing you can do for your child and yourself!
Children go through many different stages of what bedtime is “supposed to” look like as they age. Although every child is unique the amount of sleep they need, and how many naps during the day they need will change as they age. If you have children in your home who are elementary-aged they will need closer to 10-12 hours of sleep every night, whereas your teenager may only need 8-9 hours. This will affect what time your child needs to go to sleep each night to be able to wake up on time and get enough sleep in.
Table derived from The National Sleep Foundation
Bedtime routines should be created to where your child will learn how to fall asleep on their own. They include all of the things that you do to prepare your child to go to sleep right up until it’s time to get into bed. That can be taking a bath or shower, reading a book together, listening to calming music, putting on pajamas, and things like that.
When planning out your bedtime routine it is important to remember that everyone’s routine is different! What might work for one of your children might not work for another, and that’s ok. Just make sure that your bedtime routine is developmentally appropriate for your child. As long as your bedtime routine is yielding a good night’s rest, that probably means it’s working!
Let’s get started with the do’s and don’ts of a good bedtime routine:
DO: Make sure you have plenty of time to complete your bedtime routine. This can look like having about 45 minutes to wind down before bedtime and get all your boxes checked such as bathing, brushing teeth, getting pajamas on, reading, and getting tucked in. It may seem like a long time to allot, but it’s much better than feeling rushed to get into bed!
DON’T: Avoid activities that are overstimulating before bed, such as time on a device or watching TV. Especially if your child has a hard time falling asleep, it is best to stop those activities at least an hour before bed. Also, see our blog on Limiting Screen Time.
DO: Stick to the same bedtime every night! We’ve all heard during the week, “But I got to stay up later last night!” It’s okay to change your child’s bedtime on the weekend, but make sure that during the week you stay consistent with the time your child needs to be in bed by. Keep in mind that grade school-aged children need an average of about 10 hours of sleep every night to be their best selves.
DON’T: Avoid poor sleep associations. When it’s time to sleep your child should be able to fall asleep on their own, without the help of back scratches, music, or TV in the background. When your child learns to associate those things with sleep it can be difficult for them if they wake up in the night and don’t have those things there for them. We’re not saying occasional back scratches at bedtime are bad but try and end the scratches before your child falls asleep.
DO: Remind your child of the things they need to do before sleep, get in the bath, brush their teeth, pick out a book, and use the bathroom before getting into bed, until they get in the swing of things and know what’s expected of them. Also, see our blog on Setting Up Successful Routines.
DON’T: Give in to the “One More Thing” trap. It’s an easy one to do! One more minute, one more book, one more trip to the bathroom... kids can really think of anything! Try to get ahead of this by setting limits and sticking to them. Let your child know that once they get into bed, they have to stay in bed. If your child gets up, calmly walk them back to their room and tuck them in. If you start arguing with them or giving in to what they want — which is a delayed bedtime! — you are giving in.
And our last DO is: Be consistent! Whatever ends up working for you and your family, stick to it. The most important part of getting your child to sleep is creating a predictable routine where they feel safe and loved. Remember it’s ok for them to have a hard time with this. If it’s new or you already have an established routine, and you might see some tears. But with practice, patience, and consistency you will begin to have easier nights and better sleep!