Starting Off 2020 Right with Routines
As those around you finish singing Auld Lang Syne, many adults are contemplating our New Year’s Resolutions or what we’re going to bring with us into the new year. This year...what about routines? They’re flashy and fun, well... okay... maybe not, but they can provide much-needed structure and security to your family, especially after winter break.
Hooked yet? No? Well, let’s head to the research!
In a study published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics and referenced here, it found, that when you are happy and secure, you are much more able to learn and interact in healthy ways. Family routines help build skills that are crucial for success in academic and social settings like executive functioning which includes skills like problem-solving, negotiation, planning, and delayed gratification. So, kids with family routines are more emotionally and socially advanced.
In another study, published in the journal Sleep Health and referenced here, they found well-established rules for getting good sleep, such as limited caffeine and regular bedtime, led to sufficient sleep quantity and adequate sleep quality. Again, another point in the routine column! Sleep rules and routines improve kids’ slumber. Overall, routines give children a sense of security and help them develop self-discipline.
Convinced? Not quite?
Here are some more benefits from routines:
Kids know exactly what to expect.
Kids cooperate more.
Everyone gets better quality sleep.
Everyone sleeps longer.
Behavior is better.
Caregivers can count on children acting more predictably.
Kids feel more secure and confident.
Kids are able to complete more tasks independently.
Kids experience less stress.
Repetition and predictability of routines foster learning in children.
Ready for practical application?
Super!
The secret to routines is...keep them simple, make them family decisions, and be consistent! Keeping your routine simple is the most important part. If it’s too complex to implement or continue, it likely won’t be successful. Keep your routines visual and succinct. Kid buy-in is also crucial. If they don’t like the routine, then it’s going to be hard to convince them to move through them daily! Include them in creating the order for the routine. Or take pictures of them completing the routine correctly and use the photos as part of the visual chart. And finally, consistency. This is often the hardest part for us as caregivers. Incorporate the routine into your personal daily routine. Rely on technology and set reminders for yourself.
The best point in your day for a routine is during times of transition (i.e. getting up, after school, bedtime). The benefit of a routine during this time is it promotes independence (so you don’t need to remind your child(ren) of each step multiple times) and it allows them to go at their own pace, often avoiding arguments and tantrums.
A developmental rule of thumb is for your child’s routine to have no more steps than the number of their age. (For example, if they are three years old, each routine should have three steps.) Keeping the steps simple will lead to consistent success in completing the routine. Remember, the goal in the routine is for them to complete each step independently.
Be creative and make the routines fun by giving them a sense of control over how they can be completed! Are they resisting brushing their teeth? Offer up the choice of spitting in the toilet, rather than the sink. Don't want to use soap at bathtime? Give them a paintbrush so they can "paint" their soap on.
A question caregivers commonly ask is, “Should I give rewards when they complete a routine?” The short answer is...it depends. I know, Earth-shattering, but hear me out!
First, it depends on you as a caregiver. Are you good at monitoring charts and checklists? Can you be ready with the “rewards?”
Second, you need to ask yourself what you are trying to achieve by providing extrinsic versus intrinsic motivation. In a mini-review of your Psych 101 class, extrinsic motivation is a motivation to perform an activity to earn a reward or avoid punishment whereas intrinsic motivation is a motivation to perform an activity for its own sake and personal rewards. Going on an ice cream date for completing their routine all week is an extrinsic reward whereas saying, “Wow, I noticed you working hard to complete your routine this evening,” is an example of an intrinsic reward. Some caregivers find they prefer only intrinsic while others rely solely on extrinsic and for others, it’s a mix of both!
The third and final consideration is should they be rewarded for something that is expected in your home? It’s tough because there isn’t a right or wrong answer, only for what fits in your family. (See it really does depend!) Make sure, for whatever choice you choose, that you are keeping your goal in mind.
Do you feel ready to take on the world of routine and consistency? Yes? Great! (If not, contact kate@ensembletherapy.com for more support 😉.)
As you begin incorporating routine and consistency in the lives of your family members, consider modeling the benefits of routine yourself. Not going to bed on time? Create your own evening routine!
Good luck and may 2020 be your most routine year yet!
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WRITTEN BY KATE CURRAN MIRE, SSP, LSSP, NCSP
Kate received her undergraduate degree from The University of Texas-Austin in Applied Learning and Development. In August 2008, she became a certified Master Reading Teacher through the University of Texas-Austin. Kate went on to receive a Specialist Degree in School Psychology from Texas State University-San Marcos.
