Limiting Screen Time
Video games and screens are an inevitable part of families’ day-to-day lives from phones to tablets, and TV to interactive video games.
Balancing appropriate screen time and limiting screen time is often a huge struggle for caregivers. TV and video games can be a great opportunity to decompress after a hard day at school. They can also be a great nanny while you’re working to get dinner on the table before a hunger meltdown derails the entire evening.
Screens can also activate the “fight or flight” part of our brains which can lead to more difficulty with regulating emotions, even hours after the video game was played. Passive consumption (watching TV or reading something on a screen) does not activate these areas or cause as much dysregulation as interactive consumption (playing video games or otherwise interacting with the content) does though.
Because this topic comes up a lot, I often find myself thinking about what I did without video games after school as a kid. The answers are out there, video games were such a new and novel concept when many now-caregivers were kids themselves. This is an area we’re all learning as we go since we don’t have a model (good or bad) from when we were kids ourselves.
While there are no set guidelines on screen time, passive or interactive, the American Association of Pediatrics does have a set of recommendations, some of which are below.
For children younger than 18 months, avoid use of screen media other than video-chatting.
For children ages 2 to 5 years, limit screen use to 1 hour per day of high-quality programs. Caregivers should co-view media with children to help them understand what they are seeing and apply it to the world around them. At this age, this type of interaction should be entirely passive interaction.
For children ages 6 and older, place consistent limits on the time spent using media, and the types of media, and make sure media does not take the place of adequate sleep, physical activity, and other behaviors essential to health.
Designate media-free times together, such as dinner or driving, as well as media-free locations at home, such as bedrooms.
Have ongoing communication about online citizenship and safety, including treating others with respect online and offline.
Placing “consistent limits” can certainly be a challenge, but the “consistent” piece is the most important! When reducing the amount of screen time at home, setting clear and firm boundaries will help your child get used to this routine without wondering how much time they can get away with.
As with any new limit or rule introduced, kids (and all humans!) learn better by experiencing the routine and expectations as opposed to hearing the limits and respecting them right away. Kids also appreciate getting to have some say in a world where most of their decisions are made for them. Maybe they have a show that they really love, and it’s not fair that has to be taken away. What a great opportunity to enter your kid’s world and watch that as a family!
When modifying screen usage it is important to consider how this privilege will be awarded.
Is screen time something that allows kids to relax immediately after school and therefore more of a “given” or do they have to earn it after homework and chores are done AND they ate all their veggies? For kids who struggle with homework completion, it’s important to think about how screens will play into, and derail, the evening routine. If your child tends to be doing homework into the late hours of the evening then the “reward” of TV time has the potential to eat into a bedtime routine and sleep, or running out of time to get to actually have that reward, which is really disappointing, especially after hours of struggling through homework.
Screens should be off and out of sight one to two hours before your child will be falling asleep. The blue lights in screens send the message to the brain that it is daylight, suppressing the melatonin we naturally create to get us ready for sleep, which confuses us into thinking we can and should stay up longer. Ending screen time one to two hours before bedtime will help mitigate this message. Many phones and tablets also have a “nightshift” or “warmer” setting that reduces the blue light emission.
How am I going to entertain my kid without video games and/or a couple of hours of TV after school?
Kids tend to be creative when given the opportunity! Being mindful of replacement activities can also mitigate some of the complaining that comes along with new limits and boundaries. Remember those board games in the closet your family used to love to play? Pull them out! What kind of things did you do as a kid? Introduce your kids to that thing! I remember playing tons of different card games on the weeknights I didn’t have clubs or sports. When I learned how to play solitaire and another single-player game I can’t remember anymore I felt liberated. Gone were the days of pestering my caregivers and my older brother to play just ONE game with me, pleeease?!
Limiting screen time can also maximize the time families can spend together outside. In Austin, we’re entering the sweet spot when (fingers crossed) it won’t be a sauna into the evening hours, and we’ve still got daylight for a good couple of post-work-day hours. What a great time for a family walk before or after dinner!
Replacement activities when reducing screen time:
Board games
Not all board games have to be an evening-long affair! Quick games like Sorry, Connect Four, and Jenga can take 10-30 minutes.
Card games
Can you tell I love card games? Regular playing cards, Uno, Skippo.
Coloring, arts and crafts that don’t require supervision.
Reading to a sibling or caregiver
Even while the caregiver is cooking dinner or multitasking.
Chapter books (written at many different reading levels) can give an element of suspense and anticipation.
Helping out with the chores of the evening including cooking and cleaning—ideally made playful for maximum buy-in and engagement.
Neighborhood walks or bike rides.
Living room dance parties.
One-on-one dates with one caregiver at a time
Library dates, going out to eat. Sign up for our monthly newsletter for a list of family-friendly events in our area!
For families really struggling with reducing screen time and/or behaviors that include intense, explosive episodes, depression or withdrawal, or poor sleep quality, check out Reset Your Child’s Brain: A four-week plan to end meltdowns, raise grades, and boost social skills by reversing the effects of electronic screen-time by Victoria L Dunckley, MD.
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WRITTEN BY COLLEEN TURNER, LCSW (SHE/HER/HERS)
Colleen Turner is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). Colleen received her Master of Science in Social Work degree from the University of Texas at Austin and her Bachelor of Science in Human Development and Family Studies from the University of Illinois at Urbana/Champaign. Colleen is currently working towards her Registered Play Therapist™ (RPT™) credential. Colleen has clinical experience working with children ages zero through elementary school and their families and has worked extensively with children impacted by the child welfare system. Colleen is a Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) Educator trained by the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development at Texas Christian University.
